Team Outing !!

This could be the worst nightmare for me. :(

Team has arranged for an outing next weekend. next week I had plans of going to native so 

I was happy that I need not go for outing ( reason being I am the only girl in 20 members team) and put a mail to my manager stating the reason going to native. I thought the problem was solved.

I think it will be better if I paste the entire mail log so that its easy to understand the scenario.

"

Since P is not available on 30th,  I think 23rd is the best option. As I have already planned to go to native on 23rd , I will join the outing next year. I have no issues from my side. "

I return home happily.Next day I see this message : 

" Due unavailability of some team members we will have to postpone this to 6th."

:( after digging so much , I discussed with my fried via ol and with her help sent the below mail to manager : 

" Kindly let me know if the postponement of the outing is because I couldn’t join. If yes, I sincerely apologize.

As I had to go to native on 23rd I couldn’t agree on that date. Though the date of outing is postponed now, I feel odd to join the outing. The reason being that I will be the only girl in the entire team. The concern is not about the team / team members but I feel I wouldn’t be able accompany the team for entire day and I feel a bit hesitant. So, kindly pardon me and let me know if it is OK if I don’t join the outing .  "  

The immediate reply from him was : 

" No Ramya. You have to join, I think folks are friendly and social enough to take care of you. Don’t read too much into it, join the outing."

I am persistent and I send out another mail which reads as : 

"As I said, my concern is not about the team / team members. It’s just that I cannot give company for the team because, at home they will never agree to this." 

( no issues from my parents side, as tehy know most of my team members are seniors, married with kids and moreover they know if they say no I ll purposely enp up going to outing.)

The reply was :

"No Ramya. Tell your parents, there will be PM and DOD with team. No worries. Tell them there will be senior people."

Even after this , I didn't agree.

Thought of pinging him via skype :

Below is the conversation : 

                   ramya r: M.. outing .. please excuse me na ... i dont think i can convince my parents...

[12:37:31 PM] m: No excuses

[12:37:40 PM] m: Give their#

[12:37:44 PM] m: I will talk to them

[12:39:46 PM] ramya r: nope.. then they ll just agree because you called..

[12:39:52 PM] ramya r: will try talking to them

[12:40:21 PM] m: Madam, dont worry about anything. Just do what you like, have food and come back

[12:40:26 PM] m: It is in day

[12:40:40 PM] ramya r: hmmm.. ok

[12:41:28 PM] m: Tell you Parents it is mandatory and our director will come, there will be meeting etc..

[12:41:47 PM] m: looks like you are not intersted and putting it on parents? :)

[12:42:29 PM] ramya r: hehe..you guessd it right!! :) part of it my parents and the rest of it is me :x

[12:43:18 PM] m: You have to in corporate work style, you have to do lot of things you dont like

[12:43:42 PM] ramya r: hmmm.. okay

[12:43:52 PM] ramya r: looks like i ahve no choice left

So at the moment I dont want the earth to rotate !! 

Its not about the team members. I cannot mingle with people that easily.And with guys..the communication happens only if i need some explanation , etc etc.. Not a very jovial person. And I am a damn boring person on the whole. So will suck others precious time too.

Donno how I still manage to land up in boys team every time. 

grr!!

Not that I am scared of them, but some kinda hesitation.

God save me from the outing!

Also . look at my conversation: I can never talk formally. To evey person on the earth.. be it my VP,DD or PM, I talk like this  :( another built in disadvantage in me :(